Breast Feeding and Body Terrorism

‘I do not respect women.’ —A work colleague.

‘I’ve been put off my lunch by a woman publicly breast feeding!’ —An acquaintance, who went on to state he was most offended by the sight of the woman’s nipples.

These two statements were said this week in my hearing by two men who, to my knowledge, do not know each other, yet I can’t help but feel that they express similar sentiments and are somewhat linked. This post will attempt to dissect exactly what is meant by the above statements and the impact they have on society’s view of women.

Firstly, to be put off your lunch by a woman breast feeding seems wrong, doesn’t it? I mean, you’re not the only person eating—the baby’s hungry too, right? It is exactly this kind of fascism, body terrorism, or whatever you want to call it that makes women insecure about their bodies and furthers the incorrect idea that they should somehow be ashamed of themselves for doing something completely natural. In a society where women are constantly informed that they are not pretty enough, not intelligent enough (or, rather counter-intuitively, they are too intelligent, and this is also seen as a bad thing), and not good enough, I tip my metaphorical cap to women with the bravery to breast feed in public, to stick two fingers up in the face of society and put the health, safety, and comfort of their children before adherence to the ridiculous demands placed on them to look the way they’re ‘expected’ to look. I did point out to the person who said this that had it been a man whose nipples were visible, he would not have provoked such an incredibly strong reaction in my acquaintance and would certainly not have merited such unapologetic disgust, so why should it be different for women?

There was no response to this.

Surely this display of disgust when faced with the sight of a woman breast feeding shows a fundamental lack of respect for women and their bodies and their right to act as free agents? If you’re offended by something, don’t look at it. It’s really quite simple. Of course, the next argument inevitably posed by the body fascism fraternity is that parent-and-baby rooms exist, so why can the breast feeding not take place in there? Well, let me tell you something. Due to fears of judgmental reactions from passersby, it often does take place in there, amidst other parents changing their children’s nappies and cleaning up faeces and vomit. Would you eat a meal surrounded by this? No. And you certainly wouldn’t want to expose your child to anything harmful or unsanitary while they’re eating, would you? They’re not called breast feeding rooms because women aren’t expected to breast feed in them. Why people seem to have this need to grossly overreact to the simple sight of a baby having a meal is so far beyond me that I struggle to even process it. It’s not harmful, it’s not illegal, and it’s not even unnatural. Yet people seem hugely shocked by a baby having the unmitigated gall to require sustenance.

Although actually, that’s not quite true. It’s not the baby’s fault for needing sustenance; it is invariably the mother’s fault for daring to brazenly flout societal expectations and discreetly bare a breast so that her child can eat. Which kind of begs the question, when did bare breasts become the international symbol for indecency, and why?

That’s really a topic for another post, so I’ll leave that for now. My point, however, stands. Why are we indoctrinated as a society to instinctively shame women and terrorize their bodies? What is the point of doing this, and why does it not happen so much to men? The answer to that final clause is fairly simple: it doesn’t happen so much to men because there is not a society known that is not dominated by male opinion.

It all comes back, as mentioned earlier, to a fundamental lack of respect for women. And people are quite open about this. When my colleague stated he did not respect women, he was not shy about this, he did not seem embarrassed, and it was mentioned almost casually, just thrown into the conversation. (A side note on this: after disclosing his lack of respect for women, he did then say that he had not had sex in six months, and I was quick to point out that perhaps these things were related.) How can people be so blasé about disrespecting their fellow human beings? What purpose does this lack of respect serve? People won’t think you’re cool because you don’t respect others. Women are already universally dominated – why make it worse?

Categories: David Bamford | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “Breast Feeding and Body Terrorism

  1. I honestly can’t fathom why anybody would oppose a woman breastfeeding in public. I don’t even see the problem with women going topless in public just like men. (I have a female friend who was fine with keeping her top on because she was afraid of unwanted attention, but of course that’s the fault of the man giving the unwanted attention, and not the topless woman).

    I don’t always think being offended is unquestionably justifiable, and being offended at the sight of a woman feeding her baby in public is one case where it isn’t. In this case I do think the person has to provide a valid reason for being offended, but I don’t think they can. Besides, I could just as easily argue that the breastfeeding mother is offended at having her perfectly normal feeding routine restricted, so why shouldn’t her opinion count just as much?

    Watching a woman breastfeed her baby is hardly more offensive, in my view, than watching some men inhale their food like pigs at the trough. It is a double standard.

    In some cities like Seattle, where I live, there are municipal by-laws protecting women breastfeeding in public, but there is much more work to be done to make this the norm.

  2. Reblogged this on brandon arkell.

  3. I’m completely with you on this one. I think the gross over-sexualisation of the female body has a large part to play in it, as can be seen by public nudity. In the summer there is a large number of men who got topless (regardless of attractiveness), but if a woman were to do the same then it’s counted as public indecency. It’s a strange dichotomy – women are not supposed to breast feed in public, and yet mostly naked women advertising bill boards are the norm.

    I can’t believe that there are people out there who would actually state that they do not respect women. In front of a woman no less! The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.

  4. The problem men (who are uncomfortable with breast feeding) have with breast feeding is that they see breasts as boobs, as sexual objects, as their possessions… to use breasts as anything else is disgusting… psychologically they don’t want to have to ‘share’ what is rightfully theirs. So it is also about ownership of women and controlling their bodies, etc, blah blah!

    • Tom Harvey

      I’ll be honest here, i’m not a feminist nor a masculinist. But after reading your comment. I was disgusted to great amounts. I as a male, do not see women as a possession and every single male I know does not. Since you are the opposite gender, and not a psychologist. I believe you are in an ill position to take a judgement on behalf of what you BELIEVE the other gender thinks. I believe Men are made awkward by the sight of the opposite genders breasts because they have grown up to believe it is rude. During my trips aboard in some places I noticed the males at the seaside areas were not made awkward because the women had their bikini bras off. Not because it will tan as you would believe “the breasts that they believe are theirs”. But because they are used to seeing it.

      Anyhow, I agree with the main topic. No one should go against women breast feeding in public. But I believe the comments this topic has used these (what I would name) rare comments from these quite particularly bad-mannered men which I think have been picked out of the dozens to try and make it seem like they’re speaking on behalf of all men. I have never heard a male in the UK being disgusted by the sight of a woman breastfeeding their child and so I see this topic as heavily one-sided and the writer (I believe) has failed to see the bigger picture.

  5. Reblogged this on Discombobulate.

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